Chapter 8

     Jonathan stared at me with a puzzled look on his face.  "What do you mean who am I? I'm Jonathan Parker."

     I sighed, "I know your name, Jonathan, but I want to know about you. Your past, what made you who you are now."

     He looked away again and sighed. Without looking at me he quietly asked, "What happened to bring this up?"

     I studied his profile as I tried to figure out how to say it. In the end, I just decided to be frank, "Sunday, when you dropped me off at my sister-in-law's apartment. I told her I'd stayed the night with you. She asked me about you and I told her. Turns out she knows you." His head snapped towards me as I finished, "Her name is Alishia McCain. She knew you when you were still a model. She was one too. Her name was Alishia Collins then, she wasn't married yet."

     Jonathan's eyes grew wide as her name registered. "Alishia Collins? She's married?"

     I nodded, "To my older brother, Danny."

     Jonathan slowly turned his head away again. I watched as he swallowed, then opened his mouth and closed it again.

     I sighed, “Jonathan, why didn't you tell me who you were? You told me you weren't rich."

     He shrugged, "Technically, I'm not."

     I frowned, "Technically? Jonathan you are the oldest son of multimillionaire, David Parker!"

     He sighed and turned to face me, "Yes. I am. But that's all, Alex." When I opened my mouth to say something, he continued, "My father is the one with the money. Not me. I'm just his oldest son."

     I shook my head, "Alishia said you are supposed to inherit all of it someday."

     "That's what my father wants, yes."

     "And you don't?"

     He shrugged, "I don't know what I want yet."

     I stared at him for a moment, then rolled my eyes in exasperation. "What? You figured you'd experiment? Dabble in a little of this or a little of that? Hopefully something would jump out at you? Is that it?"

    He closed his eyes, "No, it's not like that, Alex."

    I stood up and turned to face him, hands curling into fists, "Then what is it Jonathan? What? How could you not tell me any of this and let me sleep with you!?!  Was I just another notch for you? Another one of those women who fell for your charms?" I yelled.

    "No!" He was standing now, hands reaching for me, but I stepped back from him.  He lowered his hands slowly to his sides and looked at me. "God, Alex, you were never that." He whispered, "Never."

    I stared at him, seeing the hurt in his eyes. And fear.  I frowned wondering why he'd be afraid of my knowing who he was. I sighed, "Were you ever going to tell me the truth?"

    He nodded. "Yes. I just wanted to be sure, to be sure that I could trust you."

    "Trust me?"

    He sighed, "I'm sorry. I just thought I'd wait until I knew for sure that you wouldn't use it against me. That it wouldn't matter who or what I was."

    "Jonathan," I grimaced, "Not to sound like a four year old, but it wasn't fair that you knew about me and I knew nothing about you!"

    He shook his head, "I don't know everything about you."

    "That's not the point Jonathan!" I growled.  "You know where I work, where I go to school, where I live, where I hang out. I don't know any of that about you!"

    Closing his eyes, he lowered his head, "You know where I live and where I hang out."

    I rolled my eyes again, but before I had a chance to respond, he looked me in the eyes and said, "And I'll tell you whatever else you want to know."

    "Because I found out about you, huh? You've been backed into a corner and you think this will get you out of it?"

    "No."  He stepped up to me and raised a hand to my cheek before I had a chance to retreat. Looking into my eyes he said, "I'll tell you everything because I want you to know. Because I'm hoping that when you know everything, you'll still want to be with me for me."

     My eyes widened as I realized what he was saying.  What Alishia had said was true. He wanted me to see him for who he was, not what he was. I closed my eyes as I leaned my cheek into his hand. Did he even know that I was fighting the same things in my life? Did he know how much I wanted to be myself and not  ‘Alexandria McCain, Most Popular Girl?’  I opened my eyes and looked into his warm hazel ones.

     Sighing I said, "I haven't been completely honest with you either."  I lowered my eyes, "There's things going on in my life that I think you should know too."

    "Okay," he slowly nodded, "Then why don't we sit down and talk? I'll answer all the questions you have and you can tell me about your life too."

    I looked around the park, noticing that it was empty.  Daylight was already fading and I could feel the chill beginning in the air.  I turned to him and asked, "Can we go to your place? It's getting dark and the night's supposed to be cold. And I think this might take a while."

   "Yeah, sure. I'll follow you there, okay?"

   I nodded and walked back to my car with my arms wrapped around myself.  I thought of what I would ask him and wondered what he would say. I knew I was going to have to tell him about my life, about the problems I was having with my friends and my family.  If Alishia was right, then it seemed as if everything that I was facing in my life, were the same things Jonathan seemed to be facing in his.  It struck me as ironic that the guy I had thought of as the night to my day, was turning out to be exactly like me.

   Jonathan let me into his apartment and asked if I wanted anything before we sat down and talked. I shook my head no, and we sat on his couch in silence for a while.  I knew he was waiting for me, and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to ask first. Finally, I just decided to say whatever was on my mind.

    "Well, given that you've taken me to 'Harvey's' and gotten me drinks, I'd say you were about 21, right?"

    "22."

    I looked at him for a moment before going on, "Oookay. Um, do you go to college?"

    "No." He sat back against the cushions. "When I was in high school, I was an excellent student. I took a few college courses back then, mostly courses that had to do with business. So, I have about 18 college credit hours."

    My eyes widened at that. "You did this while in high school?"

    He nodded and grinned when he saw the amazement on my face. "It was different then. I was different. I did everything I was told and I never questioned it. My father always pushed me to be the best and I did it without even knowing why. So, I was always studying, always bringing home the perfect grades for him. Everyone would always say that I was his pride and joy, that I was just like him.

     But as I got older, I began to see how different I was from everyone else. They all seemed to be happy, living their lives, going out and having fun. Being kids. I never got to do that. I went to school, then came home and studied and I thought that was what every kid did. But I realized that I was the only one living like that. Not even my younger brother lived like I did."

    I frowned, "You're father didn't push him to do good in school?"

    "Oh, Darryl had to keep his grades up, but he didn't have to stay focused on that. He was allowed to have friends, to go out and play."

    I gasped, "You didn't have any friends?"

    "I did, but I couldn't hang out with them. I only saw them at school."

    I closed my eyes as I imagined what it would have been like to be in Jonathan's shoes.  To watch my younger brother go out to play with his friends while I had to stay inside and study.  My eyes suddenly snapped open, "Wait! You're brother's name is Darryl!"

    He nodded, "Yeah, you know him."

    "Darryl from 'Harvey's', that Darryl?"

    He chuckled, "Yes, that Darryl. That's my little bro."

    I gaped at him.  "Little bro!"

    Jonathan shrugged, "He's a year younger than me, so yeah."

    "Wow. I would have never guessed he was your brother."

    "Yeah, he takes after my father. I take after my mom."

    "Really?" I smiled, "Then your mother must really be beautiful."

    That made him snap his eyes to mine. He stared at me for a moment before a shy smile spread over his lips. "I always thought she was, yeah."

    I grinned, "So, what did you do when you realized you were different than the other kids your age?"

    "I tried to change. I started asking my father if I could go out with my friends. When he realized I was starting to question things, he made it clear that I was not like anyone else. That I was going to be the one to follow in his footsteps, so I had to do what he said. He told me he wanted to make sure I didn't mess things up."

    I grimaced, "So, you reacted like any kid would when the chains are tightened. You rebelled."

    He nodded, "Yeah. I started staying late at school so I could hang with my friends. I didn't study as hard anymore or try to be the best in my classes." He shrugged, "Funny thing is, I still managed to do well in all my classes, it just wasn't perfect enough anymore for my father."

    "Did you graduate at the top of your class?"

    "No, I was in the top ten percent, but not the best. My father was disappointed. He was even more disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to college. At that point, I'd already started modeling, so you can guess how well my father handled my graduation."

    I frowned, "You were in the top ten percent. How is that not good?"

    "He wanted me to be at the very top."

    "Ugh, talk about militant."

    He chuckled, "Yeah, you could say that."

    "So, he didn't know you were modeling then?"

    "No, I'd only started modeling towards the end of the summer before my senior year. And I didn't really do that much of it during the year anyway, so it was easy enough for him to think I was just playing hooky with my friends. When he found out at my graduation party, he was furious. He yelled at me and told me no son of his was going to embarrass him like that.  It was the first time I ever argued with him. Angry words were hurled between us and I ended up leaving home and staying with a friend of mine for about a week."

     He turned and flashed a grin, "I quickly learned I couldn't live on my own since I'd never had to fend for myself before.  So I went back home and my father put me to work in the company.  I was still hanging out with my friends and going out and being a teenager, which only made my father angrier. We couldn't be in the same room anymore without hurling insults at each other. So, I quit working at the company and started modeling again. It took a few months to really get some good jobs, but I did and when I got enough money, I moved out on my own."

    "How old were you then?"

    "I was nineteen."

    "Alishia said you'd quit before she got married, did you get another job?"

    "No, I made a few good decisions about my life and my father.  I had made really good money from the modeling that I did for the two years that I did it. And those business courses I took in school came in handy because I took some of the money I earned and made a few investments."

    "Those must be some investments, if you're just living off of them now."

    He chuckled, "Well, I do have a head for business. But really, my father and I had a talk.  I had been on my own for about a year when he came to me and told me he was actually proud that I'd been able to stand on my own. He said I reminded him of himself when he'd been starting out on his own.  We made a deal then. He'd allow me to live my own life, to live it the way I wanted to with no interference from him until my twenty-fifth birthday. At that time I have to settle down, get serious, and go back into the business with him."

    "So, you made the deal, then?"

    "Yeah. I made him promise not to interfere with my life until I turned twenty-five. He's been really good at keeping his promise so far."

    "Do you ever see him or your mom?"

   "I talk to mom often. We sometimes get together for lunch or to go shopping together. She's the one who introduced me to flea markets."  We both laughed at that. "I really only see my father when I go home for a holiday celebration, like Christmas. We both know we need to see as little of each other as possible or we'll be at each other's throats again."

    I nodded, "Do you think it'll still be like that when you go back to work with him?"

    He shrugged, "I honestly don't know. I'm hoping he'll just let me do my job and respect that I have my own life to live."

    I sat there chewing on my bottom lip for a few moments. Jonathan didn't say a word, he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.  Finally I said, "I still don't understand why you didn't just tell me who you were, especially since you knew who I was."

    He sighed, "I know, I'm sorry. It's just really hard for me to know who's honest and who's not." He turned to look me in the eyes, "When you grow up the way I did, with no friends and then finding out that the ones you did have only hung out with you because of what you were, it's hard to just accept anyone as a friend."

    My eyes went wide, "Are you saying the friends you had in school..."

    "Only hung out with me because I was Jonathan Parker, future multimillionaire." He nodded, "Yes."

    I closed my eyes, this was just getting better and better. Everything he was saying was sounding just like all the things I'd complained about in my life.

    "I found out the truth after that fight with my father at graduation. I'd moved out and suddenly without money, my friends just started disappearing. After that, I was hesitant to make new friends and I learned not to tell them who I really was."

    I nodded, "Alishia said you would do that. So, how did she know who you really were then?"

    "I told her eventually. The group that I used to hang out with when I was modeling were people who didn't care what I was. Alishia was one of them. They weren't judging people by anything other than getting together and having a good time. I could be myself with them, so when I was certain of it I told them the truth. They just shrugged it off and went on as if nothing had changed. And I never had to worry about any of them letting my secret out."

    "Alishia let the secret out."

    He chuckled, "Yes, but I'm willing to bet she thought you'd know the truth." He flashed me his smirk, "And I'm willing to forgive her if you'll do the same."

    I rolled my eyes. I knew it was his way of asking if I forgave him.  "I'll let you know soon."

    He pouted, "Didn't you say you had secrets too?"  At my hesitant nod he continued, "So, what don't I know about you?"

    I took a few deep breaths and nibbled on my bottom lip for a few moments before I threw myself into my confession, "I think I'm doing the same things you did. You know, wanting to be yourself, to live for yourself and no one else. That's why I finally broke up with Mark. And in doing that, I also stopped hanging around with my so called friends. Except Sarah, who is the only real friend I've had.

     My father is also not taking this well. He hates that I work at The Body Shop and that I am not the perfect socialite daughter he wants. He was actually upset that I broke up with Mark! He believed we were going to get engaged when we graduated! The only thing my father and I seem to agree on is doing good in school. Other than that, I haven't been doing what he wants me to do lately."

    Jonathan nodded, "Yeah, that does sound familiar."

    "That's not all Jonathan. See, when I first saw you, I thought you were different. The impression I got was that I would be so far out of your league. You were someone my father would never allow me to date. Someone who was so far beneath us. And I think deep down, I wanted that.

     I wanted to defy my father and do something that would go against everything I'd been raised by. But at the same time, I was hiding you from everyone. Only Alishia and Sarah know the whole truth about you. My younger brother saw your car and got a glimpse of you but he doesn't know anything. What he did see, he told Mark, so he knows a little also."

     I turned to look into his eyes, "I haven't told any one of my family about you Jonathan. I knew if I did, they'd tell me I couldn't see you. But that was before I knew who you really were."

    He was silent for a few moments before he asked, "And now?"

    I swallowed, "Now. Now I'm thinking if my father knew who it really was I was dating, he'd have a priest here in an instant and he'd be your newest best friend."

    Jonathan frowned, "You really think so?"

    "Yes. He liked Mark because Mark comes from an upstanding socially acceptable family." I rolled my eyes, "And my father is all about what the connections can do for him. You can imagine what your connections will look like to him. Compared to you, Mark was a home cooked meal, you are prime rib."

    He sighed and sat back against the couch, "Okay."  He looked up at me, "Maybe we should hold off on telling him about me for a while."

    I arched an eyebrow, "What? Let him get to know you first, before we spring the truth on him?"

    He nodded.

    I shrugged, "We could do that, that is if I'm going to keep seeing you." I stated with a straight face.

    He stared at me, not saying a word. I could see it in his eyes. The fear had returned. He honestly believed I was still upset with him. The truth was, I couldn't ever be upset with him for something like this. After all, I'd kept secrets from him too. I watched him lower his head and I knew I couldn't keep this up.

    "I think I'll keep seeing you." His head snapped up, but before he could say anything, I went on, "But if we do, I think we should be clear on a few things Jonathan."

    He nodded eagerly, "Of course."

    "I think we should try to trust each other. And to do that we have to be honest with each other, like you asked me to once. But Jonathan, you have to be honest with me too and I promise to be honest with you."

    "Okay, I promise, Alex. I won't keep any secrets from you."

    I smiled, "Good. And if we ever want to know something, then we should be able to ask about it and not worry if we'll be getting the truth or not. No matter how good or bad it is."

    "That's fair."

    I held my hand out to him, "Deal?"

    He grinned and slid his hand into mine, "Deal."